VENTING re: My Eye

Instead of venting to EVERYONE I meet or happens to catch me in a mood I'm just going to blog about it to get it off my chest.

As most of you know, I had 3 Retinal Detachments last year and 3 different variation of eye surgeries to fix it (Apparently, somehow God got distracted and put and 80 year old's eye in place of mine!)  The last of the 3 surgeries involved a Victrectomy with Silicone Oil, instead of the gas bubble, which they left in so that I wouldn't have to do what I had to do for the prior 2 surgeries which was laying down for 2 weeks (face down or on my side) for 99% of the time.  Which I'm thankful for since Jackson was only 2 weeks old. The side effect of the silicone oil is that when left it is usually causes a cataract.  Well..sure enough 4 months since my surgery the cataract is forming.   As if my vision for this eye wasn't bad enough after last years surgeries!  If you ever have a dirty or cloudy contact or wake up with sleep in your eye...its kind of like that, real blurry but ALL the time.  Good thing my other eye is corrected to 20/20 and no problems yet so I can see half well.

Again so I don't have to repeat OVER AND OVER AND OVER again what's next for me and my eye:
Next surgery will be this Spring/Summer and will involve taking out the silicone oil and where it has leaked, cleaning up the vitreous fluid, possibly victrectomy if the scar tissue continues and causes the retina to detach or start detaching again and also removing of the lens in my eye.  They will not implant a new lens at that time as they have to continue to watch the scar tissue and hope that more scar tissue does not form.  Hopefully the worst part will be having the lens out for 6+ months and just not being able to see at all during that time out of that eye.  If they have to do a victrectomy if the retina  has detached then I'm guessing another gas bubble is in my future and A LOT of time on my stomach for at least 2 weeks(yeah, with a 7-10month old), sounds fun.  
After living without a lens  for 6+ months and IF everything says ok with no further detachment or excessive vitreous fluid build up/leaking then I'll have a lens implant put in and back to "normal".  This is the best case scenario if no further detachments develop and what I'm hoping for.  Not a lot to be positive about but bet case scenario so I'm holding on to that.  Just keep thinking to myself.."2 more surgeries, 2 more surgeries, just have to get through 2 more surgeries"

As a new mommy, I'm pretty emotional about this topic even if I haven't shared that with most of you when I try to maintain chipper!  It is starting to get in my way of taking Jackson out in the car.  Nighttime driving is getting difficult as well.  I'm also scared to death that I'm not going to be able to see all his new "firsts" as well as I'd like to.  His face is getting a little more blurry everyday, and it takes a lot to not cry about this. I know I have 1 eye that is good and I can just "close my bad eye" but its just not the same. Life is not perfect and God has a plan for us.  This is making me a stronger person but its hard to understand exactly why this is all happening.  I know it could be worse.  I have friends getting lumps removed from their breast, having tough and stressful pregnancies, family friends struggling with cancer, etc.  I am so very grateful for Jackson & Rob's health!  Rob and I definitely want another child but want to get these eye problems hopefully behind us before trying for #2.  This may drag out to be longer than I would've liked to wait but again we'll see what God has planned. 

I hope this isn't too Debbie Downer for everyone but I wanted to get it out and hopefully not continue to carry the weight of it all around me 24/7.  Thank you to my friends that have supported me thus far and who I know will continue to be there for me. 


Mini Photo Shoot- 19 weeks

Since we call Jackson "Monkey" all the time I thought it was appropriate to put him in this monkey outfit we got from my work shower (thanks Shad!) Jackson is 19 weeks is a great joy to have in our house.  He is always making funny noises and making Rob and I laugh all the time.  He is developing his own personality and I have a feeling we're gonna have our hands full.  He is a sly little guy, very inquisitive, very happy, and very social! He is sitting up with the assistance of the Boppy in some of these pictures and he seems like such a BIG BOY now! I can't believe how fast our guy is growing. Our baby is not a little itty baby anymore! Hope you enjoy!






On the Move!

Our little guy is on the move!  He is rolling over like crazy.  The second you put him on his back he rolls right over to his belly.  In less than 3 seconds...we've counted!!  He still hasn't mastered getting back to his back once he is on his belly so there are quite a few temper tantrums throughout the day.
Jackson loves Dr. Suell because he ok'd him to eat not only rice but some baby food!!  So far Jackson loves applesauce, sweet potatoes, & bananas.  I've been making homemade baby food and it is a lot of fun.  Its great to know exactly what he's eating and to know I prepared it for him.  I made a batch of peach puree for him which he has yet to try.  That'll be on the menu for next week as well as him trying out butternut squash.  We really have been blessed with such a great eater!  He loves sitting in his high chair and "telling" you how much fun he is having. 
He makes a lot of new sounds, squeals and grunts these days.  He sure is a lot of fun to listen to.  He is quite emphatic about whatever it is he is saying!  He is also learning how to squirm...moving from one end to the other in his crib on his belly. Its his take of the crawl for 4 month olds.  The spitting up was out of control the last 2 weeks.  15 burp cloths a day (NO EXAGGERATION, we counted!).  But it looks like the last 2 days (fingers crossed) it has gotten a lot better.  I'm hoping the solid foods are helping with this.  He also has been giggling at pretty much anything lately.  You just look at him and he'll start laughing. However, if you tickle his ribs its a sure fire way of getting full blown belly laughs that will go on and on.  So much fun (sometimes I wonder if Rob and I enjoy even more than he does!)

We are loving the adventures of Jackson Wayne and seeing how much fun he is having discovering new things.  Truly understanding the lyrics now to "Don't Blink".  This time has flown by so we're holding on to every second!


4 Months and Happy Valentine's Day

We had Jackson's 4 month check up on Friday (just 1 day shy of his 4 month Birthday)
He is moving around soooo much so we didn't get a "no lean" picture this month but what do you expect!? That's a 17lb frame to hold up!

Weight: 17lbs, 2 oz  (90th percentile)
Height: 27.5" (95th percentile)
Head Circ.: 17.25" (90th percentile)
**what is very interesting is these stats are almost IDENTICAL to that of his Uncle Brian (who is 6'6") Brian was 27.25" tall and 7oz heavier**

Daddy was able to make it to the Dr. Appt right before shots were administered.  I was anxious as always. Daddy had him giggling up a storm..VERY loud squeals and belly laughs. Then, dum dum dum......NURSE walks in with 4 shots.  Jackson just looked at her lovingly as he was getting attention.  Shot 1, no reaction; Shot 2, still nothing; Shot 3. thinking for sure we'd have a squawk at this point, NOTHING; Shot 4, not a THING!  Our big boy could've cared less.  Kept waiting for it, but the cry just didn't come!! What a trooper...we make 'em tough around here.  As Rob would say, "He's rough and tumble"

At Four Months:
-LOVE rolling from your back to belly! even if you hate your belly, the second we turn you on your back, you flip right back
-wearing some size 6 months, mostly 6-9 and 9 month clothes (have to buy things to fit your length AND to fit over your head!!)
-WILL NOT take a pacifier
-Sleep from 6:30/7PM to 7/8AM
-Love your teething toys, mom's knuckle, bib, burpcloth (ok anything you can insert in mouth)
-Really enjoy diaper changing time. Lots of giggles!
-Love being "tossed" in air by Daddy- that'll always get a laugh
-Love "dancing" on mommy's lap- that'll always get a laugh
-Enjoy playing in Exersaucer and getting reactions from Mommy
-Talking a LOT, and new sounds everyday...and LOUDER. Love making the sound for R in Spanish...hilarious, girgles, hmmmmmmmmm's
-Eat 4 8oz bottles per day and 2 Rice Cereal Meals
-Nap Schedule down:  9-11AM or 11:30; 1-3PM or 3:30; catnap around 5  (You have the most advanced internal clock of any baby I've ever known---THANK YOU GOD!)
-Wearing size 2-3 Diapers
-Like sitting up with little assistance (thats alot for your 17lb frame!)

He was a giggle monster this morning


Jackson 17 weeks!

Jackson is still growing like a weed and will be 4 months old on Saturday!  He is having a hard time fitting into 6 month clothes anymore unless they are REALLY stretchy. He is quite the long waisted guy so one piece outfits are not our friend! 9 month clothes..REALLY?!?! I don't put things on them thinking they'll be too big and then the 1st time he wears them ends up being the last..its just craziness!

Jackson had a wonderful baptism on Saturday and we got some great pictures.  He was quite the angel and it was a very special day for everyone.  New post coming with all his 4 month milestones etc..BUT...HOLD THE PRESSES..................JACKSON ROLLED OVER!  And he rolled over from his back to front (the harder way apparently) today and repeated it about 5 times.  Problem is figuring out how to roll back over.  He is growing so fast and doing so many new things that we are trying so hard to soak it all in. 

Jackson's Baptism in the chapel at St. Christopher's

Our little angel
Cupakes for Jackson's Baptism celebration
Yummy teether!
Gotta love that face..even if he's a grumpy teether sometimes!

Here is rolling over on the 2nd try...Then he lets out a couple "toots" TOO funny